40 Ways to Manage Emotions in Pregnancy and Beyond

Powerful, often conflicting emotions, can feel like a troublesome part of pregnancy. Hormonal and physical changes, as well as the associated stresses of pregnancy and having a baby may cause pronounced mood swings. Common and normal feelings include:

• Excitement, joy, elation

• Gratitude, enrichment, love

• Creativity, clarity

• Ambivalence, impatience, vulnerability

• Apathy, indifference

• Confusion, self-doubt, insecurity

• Guilt, shame, burden

• Fear, anxiety

• Sadness, grief, resentment

You may feel beautiful, sensual and voluptuous. Or, you may feel fat, unattractive and asexual. Pregnant women often have increased sensitivity, a heightened sense of perception and awareness, and notice stronger reactions than usual.

These emotions can be especially troublesome if you are not eating or sleeping well, have experienced psychological problems in the past, have other health problems or pregnancy complications, do not have sufficient support from family or friends, the pregnancy was not planned, or there are other major stresses in your life.

First and foremost, know you are not your emotions. They usually come after thoughts; some call them thoughts in motion. Look at emotions as sensations in the body without the story, that come and go like waves, or like the sun, clouds and rain. They are never permanent but change like the weather. Emotions are a part of you, they all are a sacred part of being human; but see your true essence above and unaffected by it all. Just as there is the perfect warm sunny day with a cloudless blue sky, there are thunderstorms with great wind and rain, and blizzards with snow; there are periods of darkness and periods of light. You can absolutely be in charge of how you feel rather than at mercy to your emotions. You can learn to embrace all of your sensations without attaching to any particular one, and ride the waves of life with grace, ease, and a deep sense of joy. It takes regular practice, yet so doable.

Most of the supplements and herbal remedies I recommend are available on my customized online holistic apothecary. Find the best supplements that have gone through my thorough screening process there. Look in the category for mental/emotional well-being or search them individually. My online dispensary is a convenient way for you to purchase my hand-picked, professional-grade, whole food supplements and other natural health products. Ordering is simple, and the products will be shipped directly to your home or work within a few days.

40 Ways to Manage Emotions in Pregnancy and Beyond

1.      Seek balance in your emotional life, instead of going for highs, and the lows that follow. 

2.      Get extra needed sleep in pregnancy by going to bed earlier, sleeping later, and/or napping during the day, as well as allowing periodic rest from a hectic routine. 

3.      Make sure to eat a nourishing wholesome organic diet that includes fresh fruits and veggies, whole grains, beans, nuts, seeds,  tofu, tempeh, and other protein like free-range pastured beef, lamb, poultry, and eggs. Many feel best completely off gluten, dairy, soy and all forms of cane sugar; instead go Paleo, an ancestral whole or real food diet high in pastured organic animal protein and healthy fat, plenty of fruits, veggies, nuts and seeds, with free use of herbs, spices and healthier sugars like raw honey.

4.      Get natural sources of omega fatty acids like wild Alaskan Salmon, and healthy fat in cold pressed extra virgin olive oil, or coconut oil.

5.      Stay hydrated with at least 64 oz/day of  filtered, spring or well water.

6.      Limit or even better, avoid processed foods, refined white flour and sugar, refined vegetable oils, and artificial colorings and chemicals.

7.      Take a good all natural whole-food based prenatal vitamin and mineral supplement.

8.      Avoid alcohol and caffeine.

9.      Engage in at least 30 minutes 5 times per week of regular moderate exercise like brisk walking, dancing, swimming, cycling, low impact aerobics or other such activity you enjoy and are accustomed to.

10.  Get plenty of fresh air and adequate exposure to sunlight.

11.  Set your circadian clock by spending at least 20 minutes outside with nature in the early morning each day. 

12.  During the day get out in bright natural daytime light, or if can not go outside, use 150-200 watt incandescent bulbs or full spectrum fluorescent lamps that supply 2,500 or more lux and keep the light within 3 feet of where you are sitting.

13.  Become intensely conscious of the present, and acutely sensitive to your feelings and inner experiences, using all of your senses. Get real curious. Observe, watch and allow whatever comes up without judgment or thought.

14.  Try to stay away from things (like certain books, movies and news), situations and people (like those who are angry, stressed out, negative, pessimistic, critical, fearful or demanding) that agitate your mind, raise your internal tension, bring you down and worsen your emotional state.

15.  If someone who you are close with continually criticizes, belittles, demands or negates your feelings, try to give positive straightforward suggestions about approaches that would be more helpful to you, or consider having this person come with you to some professional counseling sessions.

16.  Surround yourself as much as possible with calm, centered, and positive people, things, sounds and places that inspire, uplift, relax and restore you to inner peace and serenity.

17.  Periodically rub the essential oil of rose into your pulse points and spray rose water on yourself throughout the day. 

18.  Treat yourself to a massage each month, or ask your partner or friend for one regularly. Include a few drops each of any combination of the essential oils of lavender, orange, citrus blend, rose, St John’s Wort and/or chamomile. Make your own mixture in a bottle of almond oil.

19.  Bring more art and music into your life.

20.  Try to allow time each day to do something you enjoy, and something that makes you laugh.

21.  Collect at least 8 deep, soul-nurturing hugs per day.

22.  Keep a journal or diary as a way to be honest with yourself about your feelings and increase self-awareness and understanding. Try to write free flow without editing, draw and write poems as you are inspired. 

23.  Share important feelings with your partner, a close friend or family member,  transformational life coach or a professional therapist. Suppressed emotions are ultimately more damaging and they can cause all sorts of physical, psychological and relationship problems if not properly dealt with.

24.  Periodically release pent up emotions with a good cry, followed by a good hug. Do not hesitate to share with your friends and family so they can be more sensitive to your needs. 

25.  Get out of your head and into your body. Put on some music like African drumming and start dancing and moving to the music as if nobody is watching. Dancing will help you move through the tough emotions of grief and anger, tap into your inner joy, your playfulness, your aliveness, even your sensuality and sassiness. Toddlers embody and move their strong emotions with temper tantrums, reset and then get back to playing. Many indigenous cultures dance their emotions in community drum circles. 

26.  Make the practices of authentic yoga, (especially gentle, prenatal and/or restorative), meditation, breath awareness, visualization, and yoga nidra/progressive muscle relaxation a regular part of your daily routine, even if just for 20-30 minutes each morning or evening. There are many books, audio CDs and hypnobirthing MP3s for pregnancy to help you learn these important life skills, and now there are wonderful phone apps like Breathe and Calm. 

27.  Check out the emWave personal stress reliever from the Institute of HeartMath for a wonderful hypnotherapy and biofeedback tool to lessen your body’s reactions to stress.

28.  Surrender to and embrace the cycles of life and its ups and downs and ups again, and know that day always follows night, and light always comes after darkness.

29.  Take a soothing bath each night, or when stressed, enhanced with 1 cup of Epsom Salts, and few drops of essential oil of lavender, orange or rose or a few fresh rose petals and lavender. Light a few of your favorite candles and enjoy some quiet, relaxing “me” time.

30.  Sprinkle a few drops of the above essential oils on your pillow or put them in a diffuser next to your bed to promote a more restful sleep and reduce irritability.

31.  Make a commitment to unplug as much as possible, to reconnect with yourself, others and the world around you….and feel so much better. For incredible insight and guidance breaking the common modern addiction to the iphone and computer, read the book “How to Break Up With Your Phone” by Catherine Price. Wear Shungite or Black Tourmaline jewelry to mitigate EMR exposure.

32.  Avoid overscheduling yourself.

33.  Change work hours to avoid rush hour traffic and allow more time to get places.

34.  Be clear about your priorities and rearrange your schedule to protect the health of you and your growing baby.

35.  Ask family and friends to help you with chores or child care.

36.  Treat yourself to hired help and healthy take out meals.

37.  Let go, and delegate work responsibilities that you can. You do not need to do everything.

38.  Rescue an affectionate and playful dog and or cat to snuggle and have fun with.

39.  Schedule a Breathwork session and allow yourself to experience its wonderful life changing benefits!

40.  If you feel depressed, anxious or are troubled by strong feelings and emotions that persist or worsen despite these suggestions take renowned holistic integrative psychiatrist Dr. Kelly Brogan’s online course - it is a life saver. For more personal guidance, consult your physician or midwife or schedule a consultation with me. If you are feeling overwhelmed, or do not even know what questions to ask, I can help you! There are many ways to heal emotional pain and trauma naturally and holistically, whether or not you need medication.

Life is stressful and always has been. Eliminating all outside stress, especially that which we can not control, is not an option. We can only work on changing our outlook about stressors we cannot change. This involves deep profound and rewarding transformation, cultivating spirituality, and an attitude of surrender and acceptance. Realize that very little in life outside of our own way of thinking and behaving is in our control, and know that everything happens for our ultimate benefit, even if we do not understand why. You can learn to activate your own relaxation response to stressors and quiet your nervous system with breath awareness and relaxation techniques, mastery over your thoughts, and also by modifying what you can in your day to make it less stressful and more in alignment with your core values.

Understanding what your body is capable of can begin to give you the confidence you need to begin planning your natural birth. My Love Your Birth course can help you prepare for the entire process from beginning to end.

You’ll equally learn how to cope with and handle labor pains...so much so that you can love your experience no matter how challenging.

The right preparation really begins with a shift in mindset, not just about labor but in what you and your body are capable of doing.

My Two Books Pre-launched #1 Bestsellers

I have some exciting news to share with you! I have officially published my first two books on Amazon today...and they both became #1 International Bestsellers! The titles are below. 

I am forever grateful of your support and would love for you to share this with any of your friends or family that you think would enjoy this as well! 

Trauma Release Formula: The Revolutionary Step by Step Program for Eliminating Effects of Childhood Abuse, Trauma, Emotional Pain and Crippling Inner Stress, to Living in Joy without Drugs or Therapy Kindle Edition 

by Anne Margolis CNM, MSN, Yoga Teacher, Clarity Breathwork Practitioner (Author)

If you’ve experienced intense stress, emotional pain or any type of trauma, this program is a must - it represents true hope that saved my life and the lives of countless others. Once you know the key that unlocks the emotional pain, suffering, your ongoing personal life, work and relationship issues, and ongoing stress related physical symptoms and illness, and how to unlock it all, you experience such a powerful healing. 

For the last 22 years I have worked as a holistic nurse midwife, then with the added expertise as a yoga teacher, advanced grad and volunteer staff of Mama Gena’s School of Womanly Arts, and Clarity Breathwork practitioner. I have shared the most intimate experiences with women and their families as they move through young adulthood through and beyond menopause, and as they have their babies. I have held space for the huge powerful transformation of birth – that involves challenging situations of extreme intensity and vulnerability, pain of all degrees, facing enormous fears head on, surrendering to a process far greater than all of us…as well as great joy, love, and miracles. There is no pain – physical or emotional – that scares me – I am comfortable with it all; I have either felt it myself, heard about it, witnessed it, and helped others move through and heal from it. Over many years, the women in my practice, their partners, extended families and friends have shared with me and sought my guidance for their deepest darkest sufferings.

I would say just about everyone has baggage, past trauma of some sort, emotional pain and inner stress that is part of being human. Or it comes out as physical problems. Even if there is no apparent history of physical, sexual or verbal abuse unfortunately occurring at staggering rates (beyond 1:3 what is reported), most -people tell me they are one or more of the following:

Natural Birth Secrets: An Insiders Guide How To Give Birth Holistically, Healthfully and Safely, and Love the Experience! Kindle Edition

by Anne Margolis CNM, MSN, Yoga Teacher, Clarity Breathwork Practitioner (Author)

A Doctor and Midwife Recommended, Guide For Pregnancy To Postpartum Bliss Whether Birthing At Home, Hospital or Birth Center- even if this is not your first baby! 

This is a unique approach on how to have a deeply positive, empowered, and joyful journey through pregnancy, birth, and becoming a mom postpartum. Whether you have visions of a cozy home water birth, giving birth in a birth center free of pain meds and intervention, or a hospital birth with the latest technology and emergency care access just in case, this is the ultimate pregnancy to postpartum training so you can be prepared from an emotional, physical, and spiritual perspective to relax into birth and momma-hood with excitement and ease.

This comprehensive training will help you find your center and feel balanced, strong, relaxed, and calm within yourself during this special rite of passage into momma-hood- in the midst of all the chaos of life along the way. It will help you tune into your deepest desires and create joy and pleasure in your pregnancy, birth, an life as a mom - to take you and your family higher.

I’ve taken everything I’ve learned, trained and supported thousands of women, babies and their families with for over twenty years in my private practice locally and around the world, to create this book and do my part in improving maternity and newborn care and experiences, by empowering women and their families to speak up. These are my insiders secrets to increase your likelihood of avoiding high rates of risky medical and surgical interventions, serious complications including birth trauma for you and your baby, and having the birth of your dreams.

- stressed out, worried and anxious,

- overwhelmed, overworked and depleted, burned out, taking care of everyone but themselves

- filled with resentment, anger, rage

- irritable, cranky, and reactive

- unhappy, uninspired, unfulfilled, sad or downright depressed – do not feel joy

- addicted to harmful habits and do not do much to take care of themselves

- embarrassed or ashamed by some part of their body or not liking the way they look

- struggling with eating disorders,

- stuck and can’t make decisions

- disconnected from themselves and others

- shut down, powerless without a voice

- longing for something more and better, but don’t even know what they want, or thinking something outside of them will rescue them and make them happy

- plagued with self loathing, self doubt, not feeling valued, worthy or good enough, like a failure

- filled with shame, blame or a sense of being wrong

- lonely and isolated – without community, or even within their circle of friends and family

- sensually and sexually shut down and turned off

- troubled by relationship issues (immediate, extended, friends and/or professional)

- battling  career and work problems

- suffering with ongoing physical symptoms or chronic health conditions from body aches and pains, to migraines, intestinal issues, acid reflux, trouble sleeping, high blood pressure, heart disease, autoimmune disorders, cancer …the list goes on. If you can relate or have some of these feelings or issues, you are in the right place.

I want to thank my mentor Mike Koenigs for guiding me to prelaunch two books on my two passions for helping people!!! Both are available on Amazon already! Will be released on kindle in March and paperback in April!! 

What's a Doula and Why I Recommend One

Art by Amanda Greavette

Happy WorldDoulaWeek! This is a week initiated by a doula in Israel to empower and support doulas around the world to improve the emotional and social health of birthing and postpartum women and their families; this is so needed in modern times, with the breakdown of community and resulting lack of sisterhood mothering, along with the prevalent fear and lack of exposure to birth, and the medicalization of childbirth. Says Dr. John H. Kennel MD, "If a #doula were a drug, it would be unethical not to use it."  When I think of the many #doulas I have been blessed to work with, I am reminded of strong, beautiful, kind, passionate, dedicated, fun-loving women who have found their calling supporting other women - these women rise by lifting others. Hug your doula this week; and if you don't have one, find one to hug, and research the many proven benefits of having a doula, especially if you are giving birth for the first time. 

I do love my vintage office bumper sticker.

What is a doula is and why do I recommend one when you don't have that kind of support around you?

A doula or a labor support person like a doula is must - someone calm and nurturing to mother you, who knows how to help mamas in labor, birth and postpartum and trusts the process. Women were surrounded by homebirth and supported other women in labor through history and around many parts of the world still today. In the US and many parts of the modern world today, many mamas don't have this, and it negatively impacts their birth and postpartum. My transfer rate is ~ 7% and it's mostly first time moms with prolonged labors, exhaustion and with a common theme - they did not set themselves up with doula or doula like labor support, despite what I said, now documented by solid research. I want mamas to optimize their chances of having an empowered, deeply positive and healthy birth experience. See if your midwife knows great doulas with a sliding scale. An awesome one is worth every penny.

I could talk for hours about this, but here are the main reasons I believe pregnant moms, especially first timers, those planning to VBAC, and those who have an obstetrician as their provider, should hire a doula. Doulas and midwives compliment one another even in out of hospital birth settings, and preserve rather than interfere with partner & family support & privacy.  Often dads are grateful they do not have to learn to be a labor coach.

In many cultures today, and throughout history, until relatively recently, when birth was moved into the hospitals in the 1920s to 1940s, and people dispersed away from their villages, women supported women through childbirth and postpartum. Doulas fill this void, and are trained to provide emotional support, comfort measures, reassurance, encouragement, empowerment, advocacy, and basically mother the laboring and postpartum mother. Most doulas go through a short training and certification process, although many take continuing education and serve childbearing families in other ways such as facilitating pregnancy and postpartum support circles, doing birth photography, creating mother blessing ceremonies, encapsulating placentas, and becoming childbirth educators to teach childbirth classes. Doulas are not medical providers like midwives and obstetricians, responsible for the actual maternity and newborn care - although midwives are more likely to provide doula like care which is integral to authentic midwifery, that is not their main role.

There is an impressive body of research on the many benefits without risks, of the continuous support of an experienced doula during labor, such as improved coping, self confidence, esteem and empowerment, enhanced satisfaction and positive feelings about their childbirth, shorter and easier labors, an easier time adapting to motherhood with enhanced skills, longer breastfeeding, more positive feelings towards their baby and even improved relationship with their partner! Scientific evidence from gold standard medical studies also reveals less pain and fear, less childbirth interventions including cesarean, vacuum and forceps deliveries, less episiotomies, medication for pain and stimulating labor, less babies in poor condition needing intensive care and longer hospital stays, and all the associated risks to of above interventions, and less postpartum depression. This is HUGE! It's having a personal coach so that you have the most healthiest, wonderful experience possible. All successful professional athletes, performers and most leading businesses and entrepreneurs have a coach of some sort.

Photo by Julia Sywers.

This is doula love, given by my amazing birth assistant, doula and childbirth educator, to a superhero mama having her second homebirth. "The wisdom and compassion a woman intuitively experiences in childbirth can make her a source of healing and understanding for other women." - said the beloved Steve Gaskin. I want to honor all doulas this happy world doula week, and all superhero mamas who have given birth anyhow, anywhere.  Photo by Julia Sywers.

For personal questions and need for individual guidance you can schedule an online consultation with me- this is one of passions and areas of expertise. Many mamas ask to consult with me about their personal fears and concerns and what to do about them. I love helping mamas in person, and now with this global IG community, via Skype or phone conversation. You can also take my unique online ROCK and LOVE YOUR BIRTH course, which basically guides you through your pregnancy to birth and postpartum journey, as I guide the families in my midwifery practice - without the hands on care, to prepare and plan for an experience of their dreams.

Do you need supplements for preconception and pregnancy? Here are some of my favorite I recommend to mamas in my practice, along with my favorite herbal tea recipe for your journey. 

Make your Red Raspberry Leaf and Nettle herbal infusion.....rich in needed nutrients and specifically nourishing for pregnancy, birth and postpartum. Place 1 oz of dried red raspberry leaf, 1 oz of dried nettle leaf in a quart-sized glass canning jar with strainer, fill it with boiling water, cover and steep for at least 2 -4 hours at room temperature. Strain and place in a covered pitcher. You can make it in larger quantities and store in the fridge. For taste, dilute with water or steep for less time (but no less than half an hour), add lemon or lime juice, mint leaves or a teaspoon of honey. Drink 1-4 cups daily hot or cold.

I am passionate about changing lives. This 44-day course is changing lives. Vital Mind Reset is a program that will hold your hand and help you heal your life without a prescription. It will also introduce you to a community of people just like you – all working to transform their lives and revive their power and joy. Be a part of this community. Be a part of something greater and get yourself back! This course is a must, by renowned holistic psychiatrist Dr. Kelly Brogan, author of NY Times best seller 'A Mind Of Your Own', a dear friend and trusted colleague I can vouch for personally and support whole heartedly.  

Get a 10% discount on your Sleepod purchases ataskrembla.com-use the code SWEETHOME to get your discount.

Below are some supplies to help you Rock your birthing experience! For more details check a recent  blog I specifically devoted to my recommended top 10 must haves for your birth - to make it easier and so much more wonderful.